The Thai place isn't open till 5pm. Which seems strange. But I'm pretty sure they were open earlier today and are closed now, and then will open later. After calling and being confused, I looked on their website and they have the most complicated hours of operations I've ever seen. I still don't understand when they are open after looking it up. It's more complicated than a bank's hours in Europe. So now I'm sitting here trying to decide if I should clean my kitchen and then cook something? Or just wait till 5?
I am just gonna wait. I'm lazy.
I don't really watch ESPN much, so little did I know they air the National Spelling Bee on there. I'm confused about how this is a sport, but then again neither is poker. I also never realized the National Spelling Bee would even be worth watching. I've never watched it in my life. I think I am going to start watching it now though. Please anyone who reads this, click HERE and read this and watch the video. It is soooooooooo funny. Thank you Murderface, for making me laugh my ass off as always.
I was in a spelling bee once when I was in middle school. It was humiliating. They arranged us alphabetically. This made me happy cause I could just relax in the back row for a while and I wouldn't have to go for a while (I was usually last in anything alphabetical). You know, ease myself into the situation. But then they threw a wrench into my whole game plan by going in reverse order. I had to go first! This totally ruined my Zen. So feeling very un-Zen, I walked up to the microphone in front of a whole lecture hall filled with people who were staring at me. And I had to spell Apprentice. I had absolutely no idea how to spell that word for some reason. I guessed poorly, thinking it had an "IS" at the end (I know... I don't really know what I was thinking... I think I just choked under pressure). So I was eliminated about 30 seconds into the spelling bee.
SHAME.
As I sat in the failure section and watched the rest of my class spell words, I was horrified by the fact that I knew how to spell every single other word that they were given in the rest of the bee. I'm not even trying to make myself seem cooler than I am right now (I'm talking about a spelling bee from 7th grade here, so clearly I've come to terms with how lame I am). It is the honest truth that I knew every word. This is very typical of things that I do. I make a jackass out of myself, and everyone thinks I'm a retarded moron, but in truth I'm really pretty smart. No, really! I know you'd never ever guess it in a million years, but I'm actually not retarded! And I still feel humiliated by this miserable spelling failure, because I hate losing. And I really hate looking stupid. So losing at a mental challenge, in front of the whole rest of the 7th grade, was very traumatic for me. Obviously. I'm still upset, and I've had nearly 20 years to get over it. Some scars never heal.
On a positive note, I will never misspell the word apprentice again in my life, even though I truly truly hate that word.
And while I'm on this subject: Fuck you Donald Trump! Forcing me to have flashbacks of my humiliation over and over again... Has your show been canceled yet? Probably not. Next season, I think you should do "The Apprentice: Rock of Love Edition." This would be like the normal apprentice, but the applicants would all be previous losing cast members of the Bret Michaels VH1 show. Think about what this would do for ratings. Pitting 16 slutty girls (most of whom are indescribably stupid) against each other, competing for a high paying executive job. Imagine the hilarity! The hair pulling, and the cat fights, the back stabbing betrayals, the crying, the drama. And you know at least one of them would offer to screw the Don in the board room in exchange for not getting fired... I wonder what Donald would do in that situation? Fire her? Promote her? Hmmm. Either way, I think this would be great entertainment. Afterwards, if the winner runs one of the divisions of Trump Enterprises into the ground, we can all have a laugh over it.
OK I can finally go get my food now. :)
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2 comments:
I'm glad I (and homeschooled super-nerds) were able to brighten your day!
About the Thai place... I wonder if it's a rule that all of them must close in the afternoon. There are a couple around me, but both close after lunch (2pm) and won't open again until dinner (5pm). In the meantime, they don't even answer their phones... I'm not exactly sure what they do. Maybe they go ou to lunch at other places?
Interesting. I don't eat much Thai food, so I didn't know they all did that.
Maybe they stop for lunch. Or I wonder if they do afternoon siesta in Thailand? Like in Italy? Maybe I should get a job there. I'd really like a job with a mandatory nap time built into my schedule.
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