Inconvenience Store (PART 1)

Where I live, there are Circle Ks EVERYWHERE. There used to actually be a corner in tempe where you could stand and be able to see three Circle Ks at the same time (although I don't think they are all there anymore). The thing with Circle K, is they are everywhere, and they are open 24 hours a day (in theory) and if you need something, they probably have it. Or something else that's close enough...

"This isn't exactly right, but it will do for now. Whatever. It's 4am. I'm not going to drive to a real store"

It seems like almost everywhere I've moved in this town, there has been a Circle K right there. I used to live directly across the street from one. So in my years living in Arizona, I've probably been to Circle K about 30,000,000 times.

and I HATE them!

In a way, I kind of have a weird affection for that store. I mean, when you are drunk in the middle of the night, they are probably the only thing within walking distance that's open, and they have all kinds of junk food and beverages. And they have these mediocre nachos. I have never wanted these nachos when I was sober. But when I've been drinking, they really hit the spot. And if you eat them, you PROBABLY won't get sick.

I should work with their advertising team. "Eat here and you probably won't vomit!"

Another thing that makes Circle K fun, is that there is often something weird going on there. I think the store attracts weird people, and they come in there and do weird things. It makes for an interesting trip to the store. Examples of weird things that I've witnessed:

1. drug deals taking place outside
2. various shoplifting incidents
3. one store had a guy who seemed to always be in the parking lot (EVERY DAY. ALL THE TIME) walking up to everyone who went in asking for change and cigarettes. Also he would ask you again on the way out.
4. the clerk getting so upset because some customer was being a bitch, that after she walked outside he told me that his dream was to go out there and spray all the customers with gasoline from the pump (this Circle K was also a gas station).
5. many many instances of customers/loiterers shouting at the staff/throwing things at the staff/destroying merchandise:

• because they don't have something the person wants
• because there is a pricing dispute
• because they won't give them free cigarettes (dude, I come here all the time! Why can't you just help me out? Aw then FUCK YOU!)
• losing scratch tickets
• getting carded buying beer
• what do you mean you don't take food stamps?
  
• etc.

and the weirdest Circle K incident was probably when a drunk belligerent man was in the store SCREAMING at the two guys behind the counter. He was irate because they would not let him buy anything. They were insisting that he leave the store immediately. The drunk man was shouting about how he was going to call the president of Circle K and get these guys fired. I was waiting to pay for something (at a safe distance of several feet behind this guy). Not only was he wasted, but he was also really dirty and smelled bad.

At some point, the crazy guy turned around and I saw that he was bleeding. He had blood on his face and hands (not so much that it was like he just murdered anyone, this was his own blood). and his arm or hand was dripping blood on the floor. So I backed further away. After about 5 minutes of screaming and the cashier telling the drunk man that the police were on their way and he better "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS STORE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" the drunk dude staggered to the door.

Then the cashier shouted "GET YOUR CDC VIOLATION FUCKING BIO-HAZARDOUS DISEASE SPREADING BLEEDING AIDS FUCKING BLOODY ASS OUT THAT DOOR NOW!"

Then the guy was gone. The cashiers turned to me and smiled calmly and apologized for using vulgar language in front of a lady. I was still a little stunned, and was carefully approaching the counter trying to make sure not to come near any of that guy's blood. And I told them, "Don't apologize. I think that was a very reasonable thing to say to him."

Classic. Never a dull moment there.

So you might be thinking, "Liz, why do you still go to this place?!" Oh trust me I wouldn't, except that it's RIGHT THERE! Everywhere I go, there is Circle K. And my apartment is only 1/4 mile away from work. And the ONLY store between here and there is Circle K. So sadly, I go there pretty often. And this Circle K sucks for it's own very special reasons. I will tell you about it soon. But right now I think I am going to go get me some Thai food for lunch. Mmmmm. Drunken Noodles. So I will have to continue this rant some other time.

Ciao!