I remember breathing. It was nice.

Hello everyone. Sorry for not writing. I'm not trying to be lazy. But sadly, Lizzle is sick. Fo' rizzle.

Oh my head. It might blow up. And my throat. And my lungs. My poor nose. And my plugged up ears. I'm coming undone here. It's hard to write a blog with a throbbing headache, watering eyes, and faucet-nose. The only time I don't cough is when I hold my breath. Then there are occasional episodes of the room spinning, usually accompanied by the urge to throw up.

This has been going on since Saturday. I'm a big baby so I'm not coping well. Trying to keep some perspective, I will refrain from using the word tragic... But melancholy seems appropriate. I am feeling melancholy. Or I am suffering from melancholy... maybe... ??? I feel melancholic? I don't know. It's a weird word, ok? What do you want from me?! I'm sick. Stop being so judgmental. Geez.

My point is this sucks so feel extra bad for me.

Oh yeah, and another thing. As if I weren't already upset enough, I got very sad news yesterday. ThinkGeek.com did not select my Haiku. Those bastards. The one they picked was at least as lame as mine, so there's clearly some kind of conspiracy at play. I'm through with them.......... OK, that's a lie. I can't resist the nerd toys. I guess I'll have to write a better haiku.

If you need to express your deepest sympathies for my sad condition, feel free to send Halls cough drops, Kleenex (with lotion so my face doesn't start bleeding please), or any of your leftover prescription pain killers for this awful headache. A $50 gift certificate to thinkgeek.com would ease my suffering too, a little bit.

OK, my computer screen is starting to look trippy and one of those spinny-room moments is coming, so I gotta go. If you need me, i'll be in my bed for the next 12 hours, wallowing in my melancholiness.